...but Diddy, I'm scared...

One day when I was seven, my step-dad and I were on the roof of our house, working on the swamp-cooler. As we were getting down I had a moment of fear and said, "Bobby, I'm scared." The ensuing life-lesson I got was sufficient enough for me to believe that everyone should think about fear the same way as my step-dad; "There's only three things you need to be afraid of: God, the Devil, and dying. Now jump!". To this day, I still have a momentary flash of "Oh shit, I'm going to die!" when getting off of a roof.
Flash forward 31 years to yesterday. Audrey and I were playing with a toy that Jen had purchased as a prize for a Thanksgiving Bingo game (this was for the entertainment of the kids while at my in-laws house, we'll talk more about that during a different post). While I was showing Audrey how to shoot foam rockets off of her finger, she said, "But Diddy, I'm scared. It might hurt me". ...AND FREEZE TIME... I think back to my childhood and wonder what my dad would do ...UNFREEZE TIME... I was wondering what the hell there is to be scared of. Its a foam rocket, with a rubber band launcher. So I threw the rocket at Audrey's chest in an attempt to show her that it won't hurt, to whit she replied "OW, THAT HURTS!! STOP IT!!" ...AND FREEZE TIME... Apparently my dad's "sage" counsel of there's nothing you need to be afraid, EVER wasn't quite what Audrey needed at this particular moment ...UNFREEZE TIME... So, having failed to show Audrey that the rocket "can't" hurt her, I take the extra time needed to show her exactly how to shoot the rocket across the room. Hilarity ensues.
All is now right in the universe. However, a bewildered dad is left to wonder just what kind of emotional scars he has just inflicted on his 6 year old daughter.

Diddy...??????

Yes?
When will I be popular?

Well, CRAP. This was the last question I ever wanted to hear from Audrey.
First off, I was not part of the popular crowd. EVER! That was mostly by choice. I had a deep seated loathing of the kids who "fit in" or were "cool". Part of that was the non-conformist in me. Another part was that I had a brain, and didn't need a clique to help me think. So the last thing I wanted was a daughter who wants to be just like "them". Now, I mean no offense to those of you who were in the popular crowd. It just wasn't for me.
Secondly, WHEN THE HELL DID FIRST GRADERS START WORRYING ABOUT BEING POPULAR??????? Sweet Mother McCree! The next thing I know Audrey will want a damn car. Or she'll want a cell phone. Or a computer and a Facebook account. What happened to a kid being a kid?
HOORAY 21st CENTURY!! Where everyone has to be grown up by the time they're potty trained! YEAH!

High School Musical 3, Senior Year...Now in Theatres

That's all I have been hearing about since that movie opened!!! So, I finally relented and took Audrey to see it. It was everything we've come to expect in the HSM family; shallow plot, cheesy acting, campy songs. In short, everything a 6 year old girl could hope for in a movie, and everything a 38 year old dad dreads in a movie. At first, I was into it for Audrey's sake. However, as the movie rolled along, I found myself reflecting back on MY senior year (but that's for a different time).
So there's Audrey, dancing in the row to each song, just having a bloody great time. So there's dad, wishing like mad that Zac Efron would just hurry the hell up and graduate already.
Take your daughters to see this movie, if for no other reason than to see them dance in rows.

Just a little understanding, please

You know, the girl in my family that I "get" the least is my wife. We've been together now for over 10 years and the more we go down the road of life, the more often I look at her and say to myself, "What?".
As an example, Claire has recently graced us with her presence. There have been several times in the past 3 weeks where I have tried to help out with her in the middle of the night, only to be told that I need to sleep because I have to go to work. Then I get a barrage of "I'm so tired" remarks for the next two days. I try to tell her (stupidly, I might add) that I offered to be up with Claire, but I am again met with the "but you have to work" line.
You'd think I'd have a clue what this all meant after 10 years. Sadly, 'tis not the case.

Once more, dear friends

I'm still trying to figure out my wife of 9 years and my 6 year old daughter. Now I have a 2 week old daughter, which means I'm in the deep end of the estrogen pool. There are times when I don't know if Im up to the task, but we'll find out together.